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Shamus, rather foolishly, tries his best to keep me happy, but like the mug he is, he’d rather believe something someone’s got published in an unknown Journal than listen to me. He eats fruit, drinks Prune Juice and has roughage everyday. He practices Yoga, goes the gym and takes long walks. Why? Because he’s been told to do so by someone who assumes that this is the best way for him to keep fit and healthy with the added bonus of maintaining happy bowels. I’m the bowels in question, and let me tell you … I’m not happy. In fact, you could say I’m a first class case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Hi, I’m Kevin. Let me explain… For a start, we bowels like to work at our own pace. As explained it’s not an easy job, and it’s certainly not one everyone would want to have a go at so we like to take our time. We like to take things steady – for example, when we have to take the food and remove all the good stuff, sending it to wherever it belongs, whilst taking all the bad stuff and pushing. "Look guys, I don't want any trouble" I started before Jackie shook his head, "Oh no brother" he replied while all three reached to the inside of their tops and pulled out something very familiar, "your not in trouble".All three of them were wearing Touch cards around their necks, just like I was. I instinctively pulled mine out too, just to see it. "That's the one bro" Jackie chuckled, "now let's go, we wouldn't want to be late". They started walking, not towards college though, my feet started following them before I'd even decided if it was a good idea or not. They must have answers, how else would they have know to come get me?We walked a good 20 minutes in silence before reaching a large office building that I always thought was abandoned but with the reflective glass on the outside I didn't know what went on in there. We walked through the doors and right up to an elevator, I looked around inside, there didn't seem to be anyone else around or any other way to get to the higher.
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